Is there anyone better at the power-offhand-mention than Roger Federer? For all of the waxing poetic about his tennis, there’s not nearly as much coverage given to the way he wields soft (and not so soft) power behind the scenes. Take the recent ATP shakeup resulting in the sacking of ATP Chairman Chris Kermode — Federer let his views trickle out — first giving the Swiss press the exclusive in his press conference — mentioning that Novak Djokovic didn’t have time to meet with him prior to the vote, and then mentioning on air with Tennis Channel that he had Rafael Nadal over to the house for coffee to discuss the situation. Now, while we could try to delve into tennis politics and why it is Djokovic and his allies were dissatisfied and what kind of power move Fedal are plotting, that wouldn’t be all that much fun, would it? And, let’s be real, it can’t be that they got together for coffee at Fed’s place in Indian Wells, and all they discussed was ATP politics, right? So, let’s imagine what else they could have possibly discussed:
- Rafa’s wedding and how there should be no gluten free options for dinner.
- How many sets of twins Rafa has to have to be considered the GOAT of having twins.
- How Roger needs to stop bossing Rafa around about his wedding.
- Whether Roger’s Uniqlo outfits look better on the shelves than on him.
- Which is cuter — Rafa with his hair done or Roger laughing whenever he sees video of Rafa?
- Whether Uncle Rafa is available to babysit on Tuesday night.
- How to get Novak to go back to that hug guy so he stops winning everything?
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- How the coffee cups are not lined up properly.
- How Roger thinks Rafa should focus the rest of his career on Masters 1000 titles and skip the Slams, so that he can get way ahead of Novak.
- How Rafa is not falling for that trick no matter how many times Roger tries.
- How good Rafa looks in hot pink.
- How Rafa wants Roger to stop saying hot pink.
- The weather. It’s really cold in Indian Wells.
- The virtues of the grandpa sweater, and how Rafa is totally old enough to wear one now.
- What kinds of excuses Novak has for not meeting Roger — washing his hair, hanging in his sensory deprivation tank, not eating gluten.
- Giggling.
- Whether Stan really has frosted tips, or if it’s just the sun like he says.
- How to build a time machine to go back to 2017, or 2004-2007.
- How Rafa thinks 2008 should be included in the time machine research and Roger does not.
- How Roger is going to play clay and Rafa should go easy on him
- Rafa giggling so much that he has to go home and calm himself.
