If you like team sports, an injury to your favorite player is devastating, but at least you have the colors to keep rooting for, and the team will carry on. But what happens when you follow an individual sport and your favorite player is out for seven months? Sure, you like other players, you like the game itself, but it’s not nearly the same: your preferred entity is not even competing. This is what the many fans of Rafael Nadal have gone through since they last saw him play on June 28th, 2012. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Nadal fans have had to deal with endless speculation about the 11-time major champion’s injury, his future on tour, an aborted comeback a month ago, and pretty much everything in between. I can’t possibly claim to know what these seven months have been like, so I asked my wife, a long-standing Nadal fan, to let us into what her tennis life has been like during this tough stretch.
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In the last seven months, I feel a bit as if I’ve been going through the motions of a tennis fan. Yes, I watched tennis virtually every week, but it differed from years past. I didn’t have the same sense of urgency for the moment, nor did I have the same sense of excitement. Sure, there were moments that really captivated me: I celebrated Andy Murray’s accomplishments in London and New York, cheered Ferrer’s M1000 breakthrough, marveled at the display by Azarenka and Kerber in Istanbul, desperately wished that Almagro could prove Berdych wrong in Prague, and swore off sleep to catch the action in Australia. But, something was missing for me. And that something was Rafael Nadal.
And, yes, I know that Rafael Nadal has not really been missing since that Wimbledon defeat because he’s certainly kept us abreast of his comings and goings on both Twitter and Facebook. I loved his enthusiasm for Spanish athletes during the Olympics, oohed and awed over the cute photos with his cousins, and laughed at his Poker Star commercials. Although, would it have been too much to ask that he have a weekly video that opens with “hello everybody guys?” That may have helped fill the void I’ve felt since that fateful day in June.
Believe me, I tried to fill it. I’ve watched highlight clips and old press conferences on YouTube (As an aside, the press conference below will always be my favorite of his. I still smile every time he says “windy,” I love his confusion about the phrase “run away with the match,” and I laugh every time he demonstrates how he elevates his feet.
And, while I feel Rafa has provided me with memories to last a lifetime, I still can’t help feeling as if those memories are not enough. I’ve felt his absence keenly at every tournament, and I can’t help but think of all that I miss when Rafa’s not present.
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I’ve missed seeing him stride out at the start of matches, with his racket in hand. I’ve missed seeing his legs bounce jitterly in his seat during changeovers. I’ve missed seeing him arrange his water battles, towels, and bags. I’ve missed seeing him do his Rafa run to start the warm-up.
I’ve missed the butterflies in my stomach before a big match begins. I’ve missed yelling “SERVE” at the TV when he’s being slow between points. I’ve missed critiquing his shot selection. I’ve missed the amazement he evokes in me when he makes a shot I thought there was no way he could make.
I’ve missed the snarl, the sneer, the intensity, the fist pumps, the “vamoses” and “sís.” I’ve missed seeing him duck his head down and sprint for drop shots. I’ve missed hearing him say things like “we gonna see, no?” during press conferences.
And, more than anything I’ve missed his tennis. Oh, how I’ve missed his heavy topspin forehands that push opponents back, his dipping backhand passing shots, and the put away volleys at net. I’ve missed the thunderous ace down the T that always seems to come at the most opportune time. I’ve missed holding my breath when he goes to hit an overhead or gets caught in a cat-and-mouse-exchange at net. I’ve even missed his slices that sit up for opponents to tee off on, getting him in trouble.
*****
So, I should be beyond excited about Rafa’s return at Viña Del Mar, right? I’ve been waiting, what has seemed like an eternity at times, for this moment. And part of me is. I can’t wait to see him stride onto court. I know that I will smile. I know that I will savor fist pumps and vamoses. I know that I will applaud his winners and groan at bad unforced errors. I know that I will celebrate, regardless of the outcome, at the end of the match.
But yet, I find myself wresting with other feelings apart from pure excitement. For starters, I feel a bit worn out. I was eagerly awaiting Nadal’s presence at the start of the season, and then I had to work my way through a cycle of emotions when he withdrew in succession from Abu Dhabi, Doha, and the Australian Open. First, I experienced disappointment, which turned quickly to worry over Rafa’s health and well-being. As I processed all of this, I did feel a bit of relief that Rafa was waiting to ease back onto the scene in a less intense setting, and I also managed to muster some cautious optimism for the season ahead.
But, even though I do my best to feel optimistic about this upcoming season, I have a sense of trepidation about Rafa’s return. I worry. I worry about the expectations that the media and fans have for him. I worry about the expectations that he has for himself. I worry that he will feel pressure to excel immediately and that he won’t receive a grace period in which to find his footing. While I feel like I should be relieved that he is starting the season on his beloved clay, the surface on which he feels the most comfortable and the surface which is easiest on his body, I honestly feel like returning on clay may be a double-edged sword. Yes, he is returning on a swing in which there is less of a media glare, and presumably less scrutiny and pressure. But I worry that his previous play on clay has set the bar so high that anything less than a tournament victory will be viewed as a colossal failure and trumpeted as a disappointment. And, of course, I worry that this return will be short lived. Seeing him practice with tape on his knee and hearing him mention knee pain hasn’t helped quell that fear, either.
Most of all, though, I worry that his return will become bogged down with whispered doubts and negativity. I don’t want to think about how long his career will last, how many more slams he will win, or anything of the sort. I just want to see him play. I’ve missed his presence more than I can articulate, and I’m worried that others may impede my ability to fully appreciate and savor this moment.
I hope, though, that those worries will start to recede as the number of matches under Rafa’s belt increases. I’m hoping that all this worrying is just due to my anxiety about his return, and that once things become “familiar” again, I’ll start worrying and focusing more on draws and opponents. I really feel like I’ve been in a purgatory of sorts these past seven months, and I’ve had far too much time to dwell on my fears. I haven’t been able to escape yet, but I hope that Rafa’s presence on a court will help me ascend. I’m hoping with all my might that I reach a point where the glow of Rafa’s return will wear off, and that I will experience the normal gamut of emotions that fans go through during the course of a season: the thrill of victories and the agonies of stinging defeats.
So Welcome Back, Rafa. I’ve missed you.
Amy.. you took my heart and splattered it on a page. Thanks. Bienvenido de nuevo Rafa..
I like your welcome quite a bit. Can’t wait to see the “new” Rafa!
Well, although I like this (as a Rafa fan), I have to tell you: play more, talk less 🙂
Basically play your own tennis, b/c I’m curious as to how many fans actually play regularly? (Not to mention out of those, how many are actually serious about it…)
My guess is maybe 20%.
Cheers,
Marian aka Game Lover
Thanks for reading…and I do wish I could play more (sadly, time is a major factor, along with access to public courts with lights around where I live).
But Amy I do make time lady! I’ve always loved sports, plus that being a gourmand, I have to exercise. A sport like tennis, not only is social, but it gives me two targets, the second being improving the technique (besides the physical abilities)…
Hey TV is bad (the quality of movies is getting worse every year, only the documentaries are improving), friends are scarce for a landed immigrant and one can’t just only read books and work.
Besides after watching our idols, not only we learn from them, but it’s kinda contagious…
And in Canada we got plenty of public courts with lights (2 2-5 minutes away driving from my place) and tennis club (cost money, but they are open in the winter as well and that’s a major plus- Not to mention the friends you make).
Thank you for this post,trough it you express all my feelings about Rafa’s absence and his return.
I’m so glad it resonated; it makes me feel more “normal” in my fandom!
SO WELL WRITTEN!
And so exactly how I feel. I couldn’t have said it better. In every point you make my point.
So thank you, and like you, there is only one thing I want to say : Welcome back, Rafa, finally!!! I’ve missed you and your tennis so much.
And to the fans : only ENJOY him! Without any expectations. Only seeing him is a gift. For all he gives us through tennis.
Thank you so much for the kind words. And, I couldn’t put it any better on your words to fans. I hope that we all have lots of time to enjoy him and his tennis.
Goodness, Amy, it’s as if you’ve been inside me all these months…or I’ve been inside you… Thanks so much for articulating what many of us have suffered as we’ve trudged behind our hero in his slow, careful, but (oh, please!) sure ascent from the dark pit to the warm red tones of tennis clay. I hope that, very soon, we can exchange all the depression for the Sturm und Drang of normal Nadal tournament play, fussing over draws instead of doctors’ visits.
Vamos, Rafa!
I love your comparison between the dark pit we’ve all been with the red clay. I’ve always felt like a clay court is a beautiful sight, but never more so than this year. 🙂
Absolutely, Mel. I cried. I don’t do that with sport often, but I do when it comes to Rafa!
Beautifully written. You touched my soul with your words. I feel the same. Can’t wait to see Rafa on court again. Miss him so much. Vamos, Rafa!
Thank you so much for the kind words, and I really can’t wait to have video of him playing a real, live match again! 🙂
Ditto everything you said. Now I’m going to watch that press conference!
Hope you enjoyed it! 🙂
I’m so glad you wrote this Amy. It exemplifies everything I’ve been feeling since Rafa’s been off-tour. I miss him so much and none of the tournaments, especially the Slams, feel right without him there. I cannot wait to have him play again. I don’t even care if he doesn’t win tournaments right off the bat – I don’t want that, but I just want him to be back on tour and to have a favourite to root for again 🙂
That’s my feeling exactly. Results are pretty immaterial to me at this point; I just want to see him play! So glad you enjoyed it!
hou la la my Nadou baby,can’t wait to see him on a tennis court Wednesday,Va mos Rafael,yeah babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Me either, Aube! 🙂
The perfect last sentence to sum up the perfect piece of writing. Thank you, I so want the extraordinary to feel normal again, uncertainty and doubts to find their purpose, paradoxes become crystal clear. Just another day at the office for a Rafa fan.
I couldn’t agree more — I can’t wait for all of those things to happen. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 🙂
I just loved this piece. So well-written. I’m not a Nadal fan, but I have to say that I cannot wait for him to get back on court. I can only imagine what his fans have felt like the last few months because there’s nothing worse than when your favourite player is out injured, especially when the absence is so lengthy like this one. It will be great to see him come back.
You mentioned the expectations of fans and media alike and the scrutiny that will surround him. It’s going to be incredibly interesting to see how it all pans out. Personally, I think he’s going to have a great comeback. Sure it’s going to take him a while to get back into the habit of playing and winning matches, but he knows what to do. The fact that he’s coming back on clay only strengthens my belief that he’ll do well (although that could be the Federer fan within me talking!)I don’t like that people have been so quick to write him off because I believe it is extremely disrespectful to the brilliant player that Nadal is. Form is temporary, class is permanent and Rafa certainly has that in abundance. He’ll be back winning the big titles before we know it.
I very much hope you are right! 🙂 I think it’s really interesting to consider the comeback from various perspectives because all of us approach it from different angles. Juan José has been driving me crazy because he is convinced that Rafa will sweep all three clay events, and I am convinced that he has now jinxed him to lose early. I find it harder than he does to be so optimistic.
Oh my! What a beautifully written piece. You have gotten every Rafa fan’s heart and soul into it. And thank you for the video. All of his honest charm comes through so strongly in that clip. I think that it shows perfectly why we all love him. Welcome back Rafa indeed!!
Thanks so much, Ginny! So glad you enjoyed it. And honest charm is the perfect manner in which to describe that clip. He has that in spades, no?
[…] Fan Fare: Seven Months Without Rafael Nadal – via changeovertennis.com (I adore the presser included in this post.) […]
A beautiful, heartfelt piece. Thank you for putting your thoughts down in writing. They really resonate with me. I did feel I was in purgatory these past months but never said it out aloud. Now I know I’m just normal 😉
Less than 20 hours when the vamossing resumes! Hugs to all Rafans!
So glad it resonated with you — and can’t wait for all of the vamoses to come!
Thank you all for the feedback. I actually started writing my thoughts on Rafa’s absence in December because I found it quite therapeutic. I didn’t really envision sharing it with anyone outside of Juan José. I may have been “pushed” a little to share this piece with a wider audience, but I’m very glad I did so. 🙂
Amy- for weeks, months I tried to convince myself that all the matches I’d seen Rafa play, win and lose would last a lifetime, that I was fortunate to have been blessed to see him play in the flesh several times, that I was sated. It was pure folly. I missed him so much and your words, your feelings- well I’ll just say, we’ve all adopted them in some fashion. We have all had them. I share your apprehension and bask in the moment that will be his return, return to his rightful place on planet earth — Center Court- whichever center court that may be. The spotlight. Thanks for helping me smile today! Vamos!
His rightful place, as you say, in Center Court of the tennis world. Vamos Rafa siempre!
So glad I helped you smile; I hope Rafa’s doubles’ win made you smile even more!
You have articulated just how I have felt these last few months without Rafa on court. Thank you for such wonderful writing. It has also led me to this page so I can now enjoy yours and Jose’s tennis musings. Loved it.
So glad you enjoyed the piece. I, though, can’t take credit for any of the other brilliant work at The Changeover. This is my one post as a guest contributor. 🙂
You should be glad and proud Amy because you did great,was so excited yesterday after the read that I forgot about my KUDDOS to you,yeah forgot my manners, but you already knew I appreciated it because I could hardly contain myself…
Great job and on to Wednesday when all eyes would be on Nadou…awwwwwwwwwwwwwww:)
Do not forget that Nadal will play doubles with Juan Monaco today at 6 PM local time.
If I read Tignor’s article on TW correctly, Nadal will play at 4 PM EST(6 PM local time) tomorrow and the match will be shown on Tennis Channel.
AmyLu,
That was written very well. As a fan of the game, Nadal’s return is coming at the perfect time, in my opinion, for the following (1)February is normally a quiet month in tennis and (2)he is playing his first tournaments on his beloved red clay. By the way, I agree with Juan Jose that he will win Vina Del Mar, Sao Paulo and Acapulco.
Thanks so much, Master Ace! That’s very high praise coming from you. And, I hope you’re accurate as usual on the prediction front!
Just simply lovly Amy. A true fan’s perspective on things. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks so much, Sinnet! 🙂
Beautifully expressed, AmyLu!
It feels to me like that movie, “Close Encounters,” where people are all having exactly the same thoughts and feelings, including me…incredible!
Highpockets!!! So nice to “see” you. Hope you are doing well! 🙂
Lovely writing, AmyLu! Exactly how I feel. Can’t articulate it myself, but reading your thoughts, I found myself nodding and going ‘yah, that’s it!’ more than once. Tennis has had no fire for me since June of 2012. Nada.
I don’t really care if he wins or loses, the media is going to be all over him, regardless, and people will always be writing him off. They’ve been doing it since he beat Federer in Miami long ago.
It’s just great that our boy is back, no? Now we gonna see what he can do.
Vamos, baby!
Hi marron! Based on today’s doubles, I’d say he’s off to a flying start. Hope it can continue! 🙂
Very nicely expressed sentiments in your article Juan Jose. I too have missed Rafa’s presence. What he brings to the game is simply not replaceable. I’m very hopeful that he will again be able to reach the highest level so that he alters the dynamic of every major in which he plays.
http://martinstake128.wordpress.com/2012/07/22/2012-olympics-and-the-absence-of-nadal/
http://martinstake128.wordpress.com/2012/08/16/a-us-open-and-no-nadal/
Thank you, moam, but all credit for this post goes to my wife, AmyLu!
Hi Amy,
Thanks a lot for this article. It just brought the inner feelings of all Rafa fans. I suspect whether you are a doctor who knows the pulse of all of our Rafa fans. Each and every tidbits of information shared about Rafa being missed in Tennis world makes me to feel proud and also have a pride in being called as a Rafa fan. Vamos again to you!!! Last, but not the least, lets welcome the king!!! Vamos Rafa!
Thanks so much, Karthick. 🙂
Just because its you, AmyLu. ;-))
First, this is really well written. Congrats!
And, as a Fed fan, (;-)), all I had to do was substitute Roger’s name for every Rafa reference and change, “….the snarl, the sneer, the intensity, the fist pumps, the “vamoses” and “sís.” I’ve missed seeing him duck his head down and sprint for drop shots. I’ve missed hearing him say things like “we gonna see, no?” during press conferences. “…. to, ‘the hair flick, the grace, the racket twirl while awaiting serve, the once per set fist pump, the ALLEZ on really big points, and the ‘its a pity, but..’ and I know JUST how you feel. 🙂 I think any fan whose favorite player has been absent from the sport, even a fan of the sport in general, and not just of that favorite, finds the tennis pickings a bit thin at times. Even if the matches are high quality. Because those matches are being played by ‘others’ not by the eye’s apple.
Hi CL! So nice to “see” you! 🙂
I think you hit the nail on the head re: fandom. (And as an aside, I will greatly miss the “it’s a pity, but” if/when Fed retires).
Beautifully written, AmyLu. 🙂
Let’s hope he can have a couple healthy years. Vamos!
Thanks so much, Sherlock! So glad you commented! 🙂
And, amen to the healthy years!
Thanks for this piece.
It really explains how i’ve felt these past months and how much i worry about rafa.
Thanks
Have you guys caught a glimpse of the doubles today? “Your Awesomeness”! if you liked today,you’re going to love tomorrow,no?
Bring it on Tennis Channel…