Five Ways Andy Murray Can Still Disappoint Us

With Andy Murray winning the Davis Cup this past weekend, you might be wondering what’s left of Murray’s career for us to be disappointed about. After all, he’s now won an Olympic gold medal and two slams, including that long-coveted Wimbledon title.

Well, fear not; I have you covered. By reading this handy guide, you can ensure that you’ll never run out of criticism for the Brit.


1. He’s greatly inconvenienced us all by making us go back and sneakily delete the snarky comments we made about how he would never win stuff.

Like many, I had to spend at least an hour deleting my old comments about his slam chances pre-2012 US Open. Every time he wins something we decided he couldn’t, it’s back to those archives for rewrites.

On an unrelated note, you may think you remember an article I wrote back in 2011 entitled “Andy Murray will never win a slam, but if he does, I swear to god I will get the British flag tattooed on my face and run naked through the streets,” but I assure you that you are mistaken.

2. Andy Murray may have won nearly every trophy that matters to a tennis player, but he’ll probably never win an Oscar for best actress in a leading role.

Worse still, I doubt he’ll even get nominated.

3. Andy Murray is extremely rude. Just look at Andy boorishly declaring Djokovic’s 10th slam win as “incredible.” Clearly this comment is implying that nobody would ever believe Djokovic could win 10 slams.


4. Although his career is not over yet, it seems unlikely that Andy Murray will ever be as tall as Ivo Karlovic. 


5. Andy Murray could never make a living reading books on tape.

You would definitely fall asleep.


Amy can be spotted on a tennis court in the Philadelphia area, shanking backhand volleys.

2 Responses

  1. RZ
    RZ December 2, 2015 at 11:27 am |

    Amy, your forgot to include that Andy Murray will never be as old as Roger Federer. So disappointing!

    1. RZ
      RZ December 2, 2015 at 11:27 am |

      Sorry, “you forgot” not “your forgot”

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